Blind Leading the Blind Part Two

Our decision to homeschool came upon us slowly, without us being aware of it. I know this because it was less than three weeks from the time Tony and I discussed actually doing it, to the time we were ready to implement it. Like I said before, I had felt this leading for awhile. I had even used it in school meetings as a threat to the district. They wouldn't want to lose the funding from one of their military kids. I had an odd feeling at our first school meeting here. They looked at me like I was a looney when I described our previous school's system for dealing with Gabe. No one had ever worked at a school using shadows much less dealt with a child having already had success with one (at least not like the shadow program of the other school). Because of that, they were completely unprepared to implement the idea that they were now legally bound to follow. The shadow they hired was not prepared. Had no understanding (or desire to understand) of autism. She was a sweet woman but not able to give Gabe the help he needed. The teachers were set with their classes and routines seeing how it was the beginning of March and school was really getting close to ending. Gabe was just a bother to them. Turns out this district has a program for the autistic kids. And honestly, it is a good program with everything an autistic kid could want. So after a disastrous end to third grade, everyone decided to add Gabe to the autistic class at another school. I had my reservations about it as it is a self contained class and peer involvement was severely limited. Which is great in some cases...not ours. The class room setting was perfect. Cubbied desks, visual schedules, reduced distractions, a swing IN the room, an almost 3-1 ratio of students to adults, 1-1 teaching time to introduce new topics, sensory areas to play, a meltdown corner with the biggest pillows and beanbags you've ever seen, etc.... Really, I want to live in that room!! Last year was a complete reversal from the end of third grade. I went from getting phone calls once every week or two to come pick him up for being a danger to himself and others during meltdowns, to the teacher never once seeing him angry, much less melting down. I knew we had lost a lot of ground in all areas after the move but didn't really know how much. Last year was a chance to refocus, get back into a good routine, and to learn where exactly we were at. All of that took time. They got his focus, they got his attention, they developed a good system and schedule, and then they started work from where he was at. By the end of the year he was showing good improvement. We were all relatively happy. "Happy" is a very relative term. He used to come home talking about his friends. He could name several. The entire school in SC knew him. We couldn't walk down the halls without someone shouting out to him to say hi. He was famous! Here, none of that. When we left SC he was completing most of every assignment in a regular Ed classroom. He was struggling more than some of the other kids with multiplication, but he was getting it. He enjoyed learning. Here, not so much. In fact he lost all of his multiplication understanding and memorizing. And as of my parent teacher meeting a couple weeks ago, he was just catching up to where he was when we moved. So basically, for Gabe, moving pushed him back two grade levels. We move again in two years.... His social needs are not getting met in his class any more than they would be at home since his only real peer interaction is with other autistic kids, and as they are defined as social impaired, I'm not sure that qualifies. He isn't even eating breakfast in the cafeteria! And in all honesty, his peers are getting to an age that I don't want him learning from them anyway. It was bad enough when his peers taught him to be a picky eater. I don't need him coming home (like he has started to do) talking down to his little sister and think that is okay. Or coming home saying foul language that he doesn't understand and can't be made to understand. I'd rather tackle these things at home where I can help him understand how and why it is hurtful to tell his sister that she shouldn't draw because she isn't very good. And I can teach him that some words have a very ugly meaning, and saying them puts others down and that he should be doing his best to lift others up instead. But the big kicker for me was the way they push these kids to perform for state tests like performing monkeys. The reading assignment that was brought home for homework... 5th grade reading. He couldn't explain what was happening in the first paragraph and the thing was 6 or 8 pages long! After much talking about it, with Tony, his teacher, and him, I've discovered he is closer to 3rd grade comprehension and 2nd grade self reading. But, no, he is listed as a 5th grader and must perform to 5th grade state testing. That was the proverbial straw. If they can't meet his social needs, they can't meet his academic needs, they waste what little resources he has to learn with on stupid testing prep, and we are setting ourselves up to do this again in two years during adolescence....shoot, seems like a no brainer. Let's forget about the added bonuses of being free to say the Pledge of Allegiance, pray all we want to, be able to do things together, go on vacation whenever we want, learn at our own pace, be able to back up school lessons while on the go, the parents actually know what the kids are learning, and I don't have to get up early to meet the bus or be home at a certain time to meet him. The drawbacks are WAY less than the benefits. I am not sure how this will go as I'm not a teacher. I have NO experience to draw from. I have NO training. I have NO idea what I'm doing. But I KNOW my son. I know his buttons, good and bad. I know how he learns and how to motivate him. I know, by the peace- not panic, in my heart that this is what God wants us to do at this time. It just might be the blind leading the blind, but God says we can trust in the unseen!